Living my best life: Navigating sobriety in your twenties

Initial struggles and realisations

Realising that alcohol wasn’t for me came in stages, yet it didn’t stop me from drinking. When I was 14, I had a big night out with my family and overindulged. My parents warned me to be careful, and ever since, that advice lingered in the back of my mind. But it wasn’t until a decade later, just before my 25th birthday, that I had my last drink.

It was the night of a Chelsea vs Newcastle cup game. After being cancelled on for a Hinge date, I managed to score a last-minute ticket. This used to be a massive trigger for me. Can you imagine? A girl I’d never met before. She cancelled the date and I thought to myself, “yeah f*** it, I’m gonna get absolutely plastered.” A Tuesday night. A League Cup game. Tragic, I know.

What followed was a night which I seriously regret. I brought a friend back to mine, and the evening stretched into the early hours—until about 5:30 a.m. I kept my housemates up all night, and they were furious. That moment hit me hard. I realised I was jeopardising two of the most important relationships in my life because of booze. And that’s when I decided: I’d had my last drink.

Navigating sobriety in your twenties

Quitting the drink when I knew I had to wasn’t as difficult as I had anticipated. There wasn’t a day when I felt I really needed a drink. The socialising, on the other hand, became a lot trickier.

When you rock up at a party, your beer has got a big 0% on the side of the bottle, and normally you’re used to having had at least three or four beers before you arrive, that’s when it starts to get a bit more difficult. You’re conscious of your every move, every word you say, and every word you hear. For the first few months that I was sober, those were the moments when I thought to myself, I could really do with a drink right now.

Parties in your mid-twenties aren’t like the ones they warned you about in year 9 PSHE. Peer pressure isn’t as blatant. If you don’t want to drink, you don’t have to. Nobody’s going to force you. And if they do, they’re probably not the kind of people you should hang out with. Respecting your decision not to drink is a reflection of how they’ll treat other important decisions you make in life.

Once I realised that I was in control of my own actions on a night out when I was sober, I started to enjoy them a lot more. I can go out to the pub for a friend’s birthday, enjoy it for the time that I’m there and then get to bed at a reasonable hour and that’s what works for me.

What I worry most about now, when people find out that I don’t drink, is that they’re going to think that I had a problem, and that they will judge me for it. But the reality is, no one does. It’s quite the opposite. Most people respect me for the choice that I’ve made. It’s always a thought that crosses my mind. Even so, that irrational thought still lingers—it’s a tough one to shake, even though my own experiences disprove it.

Sobriety has brought me closer to almost everyone in my life. It’s also given me the chance to reconnect with old friends and repair relationships I damaged in the past.

For example, I broke up with my first girlfriend when I was 21, and it was messy—drunk texts, late-night calls, and bad decisions made it a toxic breakup. But recently, I’ve seen her more often, and now we’re great friends. It’s not like we’re spending every weekend together, but if I bump into her, I know we’ll have a nice chat. Experiences like this have restored my faith in the idea that people are forgiving. If you show genuine intentions to make amends, most people are happy to leave the past in the past.

My support systems

Throughout my journey, my parents and housemates were the four most important people. They always believed in me, even when I struggled to believe in myself. I couldn’t have done it without their unwavering support. Having them by my side during such a challenging period—when I’d let them down so many times—gave me the strength and determination to keep moving forward.

Additionally, my uncle and cousin, who also recently decided to get sober, became another source of encouragement. While we each made this choice for different reasons, we shared the same goal of leaving alcohol behind for good. Talking through our experiences with one another helped me feel less alone on this journey. Their resilience and determination inspire me to keep going.

Thanks to the support of my friends and family, I didn’t feel the need to attend specific groups or programs. Instead, I’ve been attending weekly therapy sessions. These sessions provide me with the space to reflect on my personal struggles and how my life has transformed since giving up alcohol. Sometimes, we simply chat about what’s happening in my life or with my friends. It’s a grounding and consistent part of my support system, helping me navigate this part of my life.

Daily life and habits

These days, I get up earlier on the weekends. I go and play tennis or go for a long run along the river. Now that I don’t stay up until 6 in the morning on any night of the week, there’s more structure to my daily routine. I still love treating myself, though. Most Sunday mornings, you’ll find me stopping by the local patisserie for a couple of croissants. It’s a bit of a guilty pleasure, but it feels far more rewarding than the 4 a.m. drunken, greasy pizza I used to rely on.

Whether it’s padel, tennis, or running, I’ve found a real joy in activities that release natural endorphins. When you stop drinking, your body starts craving those feel-good chemicals, and you suddenly have the motivation to seek them out in new and exciting ways.

I’ve always been drawn to adrenaline-fueled activities, but now I’m chasing them even more. Water sports, trekking, diving—these are constantly on my mind. I’m always on the lookout for my next adventure, eager to push myself further and keep exploring what makes me feel alive.

Growth and new perspectives

Life is tough, and it’s always going to throw curveballs your way. Don’t get me wrong, drinking can be great fun. But using it to try and get through tricky periods isn’t the right answer. I used to think it was.

When I first quit, one of the immediate changes I noticed was the weight loss. I’d been consuming over 2,000 calories a week just from drinking, and as soon as I stopped, the fat started melting away. I was thrilled with how I looked. Although I’ve put a bit of the weight back on now, what matters most to me is how mentally stable I’ve stayed throughout this process. That’s what I’m proudest of.

Fortunately, my journey hasn’t been riddled with difficulties, but quitting alcohol forced me to learn how to handle problems without relying on it as a crutch. These days, I feel like my head is much clearer. The decisions I make are grounded in logic, no longer fuelled by emotional or alcohol-induced impulses.

Adjusting to socialising sober wasn’t easy at first—it was nerve-wracking. But being naturally sociable and comfortable meeting new people helped me ease into it over time. One piece of advice from my uncle has stuck with me: “nothing good ever happens after 1 a.m.”. That’s why I always make sure to leave before then.

What keeps me going is my commitment to not letting anyone down. My friends and family have supported me so wholeheartedly throughout this journey, and the thought of turning around and telling them I’ve started drinking again would fill me with deep shame. But more importantly, I don’t want to let myself down. I’m a determined and positively stubborn person.

These are the two traits I have found to be key to maintaining control on my sober journey.

Advice for those considering sobriety

If you feel that drinking alcohol is starting to bring more negativity than positivity to your life, then you should think about taking the plunge and quitting. I didn’t have an off switch, which was what made me the kind of drinker that I was. That’s why I would constantly associate drinking with regret and being in an endless cycle of self-hatred. If you feel the same, give sobriety a go and see how it treats you.

People think that if you quit drinking, you have to have been an alcoholic. For a lot of non-drinkers, this isn’t the case! Recognising that your life could be improved without regularly drinking alcohol doesn’t make you an alcoholic. It simply means, you’ve come to the realisation that something needs to change.

For some, like me, that change is a necessity. But for others, it might just be a health choice.

Reflections and looking ahead

Looking back, I wouldn’t change how I started my journey. Life is unpredictable, and part of the process is learning to handle surprises as they come.

Moving forward, happiness and stability are the two words that spring to mind. These were two things I was mainly lacking in my life before I quit drinking. Being able to appreciate life for what it is without feeling that I have to either enhance experiences or suppress feelings is refreshing.

I’m now living life on a level playing field. In my head, there’s nothing theoretically holding me back from living my best possible life.

Sobriety isn’t just about quitting alcohol—it’s about discovering who you are without it. For me, it’s been a journey of clarity, growth, and reconnection, and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.